Lightlark! A viral tiktok book with very little substance. Look, I don’t think I have to give much backstory here, and if you ever need four to seven hours of explanation, I can suggest a few videos. Lightlark is not worth obsessing over, even as a hater.
That is why I really do not obsess over it. Rather, it has emerged in my life like a malevolent spectre, coming back a year later to terrorize me for a fitful week before I can again rest. I did not set out to write a four hour review of a bad book last time, I just had 27,000 words to say about it. Here, a year later, with its fame mostly forgotten, I welcome the ghast of Lightlark 2 back inside my body for the sake of entertainment.
After all, I’ve read a lot of people’s comments on the matter over the last year. A lot of people seem very hopeful that tiktok popular kid Alex Aster will have improved and taken the critique her book received to heart. A lot of people seemed to think the first book was Like That just because it was a pet project she’d had since being a teen, and that writing another might force her to have original thoughts.
So I’m here for all you people, and for all the mischievous freaks who enjoy learning about trashfires they never have to actually read: I read Nightbane, and get this, you won’t believe it, but-
My last review has gone wild, with several thousands views! Whoah! This is a blog I do as my hobby for fun, and I don’t make a cent. It took me like a combined 70 hours or so to do all this and I’m happy others like it. To make the giant text review easier, I’ve spent the week making a video:
This is my Lightlark review in video form! Nothing more besides some asides and diversions. Easy to put in in the background. Speaking of.
Lightlark is joyless, a husk beyond parody, a checklist of every Island of Blood and Bone and Glass and Hearts that has come out in the last five years, built and sold on tropes and aesthetic boards. This is a book written by an author who is not a writer. It would fit in on the dregs of an amateur writing site with eerie perfection.
This is the raw audio! Just the same as the video but easier to download for car drives or planes. It’s also on many podcast apps if you look.
Both are now edited into the original review, but thought I’d make an official post notice.
A full summary with spoilers, analysis, quotes- and so much more on the subject of a book you should never read. This is a long piece. Like ‘Youtube Video Essay’ long.
You can listen/watch this review in a 4 hour video form if you’d prefer. Or find it on podcast apps as audio only.
I read bad books.
This has been my hobby for a long time. I don’t really shy away from it in real life, online I tend to cloak it so I don’t get mauled in real-time. I’m not a ‘hater’: I go into any bad book with a very open mind, knowing bad is subjective, and I’ve been surprised before. Even in quite bad books there’s a joy to them, in things that they get right, or have potential, or even the silliness.
Lightlark is joyless, a husk beyond parody, a checklist of every Island of Blood and Bone and Glass and Hearts that has come out in the last five years, built and sold on tropes and aesthetic boards. This is a book written by an author who is not a writer. It would fit in on the dregs of an amateur writing site with eerie perfection.
The Hype and Hate of LightLark online
But Lightlark is more than that. You see, Lightlark is… a TikTok book. It was sold on and by that mysterious place. You can view the original ‘pitch’ here– a fifteen-second slapshot of some basic images, her scrolling through a word doc, and a hair flip by the author. It’s a pretty fine pitch for a book, but to me isn’t exactly gripping. But still, it went viral, and soon she had a six-figure (aka 100,000 or more) publishing deal for two books of LightLark. It sold movie rights too, which is pretty common in book deals but added to the hype, and Aster also was pretty big on bragging about this fact.
So here’s the twist… or not really, if you know how TikTok and the world online works: LightLark is bad. Not only is it bad (I have a whole review below this all about that), it also doesn’t deliver what she promised. She hyped up a lot of the ‘spicy’ content and specific scenes, and readers found the actual book lacking. She sold it on tropes that don’t really apply.
People looked too at her claims- ‘ten years of rejection’ a key term. She presents herself as a very self-made person, but she actually had two middle-grade books and an agent already- until poor sales and her obsession with Lightlark lost her the agent. She comes from extreme privilege and her twin sister is a young businesswoman worth over 200 million. People accused her of using nepotism or being an industry plant, which isn’t true, but it can’t be ignored that her very wealthy background offers a lot of privilege. For example, living without debt with her wealthy family is something many writers can’t afford to do, let alone people, and money also offers more opportunities for networking and advertising. It was fairly suspicious too when many reputable established YA authors started promoting and praising the book, despite it being… what it is.
So that’s the background. I heard very suddenly about a bad book causing drama online and went poking. Saw early reviews were resoundingly negative and knew I had to hop on. And I wasn’t let down.
The Review (Full Summary. Full Spoilers. Full Horror.)
LightLark is a YA fantasy with the following premise. Normally I don’t bother sharing these, but you’ll see- Lightlark defies itself in every way, its plot thesis very much full of lies about its content.
Every 100 years, the island of Lightlark appears to host the Centennial, a deadly game that only the rulers of six realms are invited to play. The invitation is a summons – a call to embrace victory and ruin, baubles and blood.
The Centennial offers the six rulers one final chance to break the curses that have plagued their realms for centuries. Each ruler has something to hide. Each realm’s curse is uniquely wicked. To destroy the curses, one ruler must die.
Isla Crown is the young ruler of Wildling – a realm of temptresses cursed to kill anyone they fall in love with. They are feared and despised, and are counting on Isla to end their suffering by succeeding at the Centennial. To survive, Isla must lie, cheat, and betray… even as love complicates everything.
Filled with secrets, deception, romance, and twists worthy of the darkest thrillers, Lightlark is a must-read for fans of legendary fantasy writers Marie Lu, Marissa Meyer, and Leigh Bardugo.
Crow Defeats Books 