Honestly, the experience of reading this book was so hair-pulling I needed to make something about it fun, and that’s how we ended up with this title. Halo is an angel para-ro book from 2010 that I’ve been avoiding for probably 10 years by now. It sounded boring, like it didn’t have a plot beyond a bland romance. And then I read it and it was boring, like it didn’t have a plot beyond a bland romance. There’s still some things worth discussing though- like the extremely conservative viewpoints being preached on every page (yes, it’s a Real Christian book), the sheer codependent controlling behavior of the boyfriend, and how bad Beth is at being an angel.
This is a book where the evil love interest takes over 200 pages to show up, acts not at all as a friend or temptation, plans to rape the main character, and then is sent to Hell. It’s a 500 page long book where that is the only conflict. It’s a very anti-goth story (I’m offended) with a character who goes through the same pages long internal crises every chapter. I hate this book.
Continue reading “Disastrously boring and disgracefully designed and positively pulsing with preachy pus”
I have a small confession to make: I went on vacation the day after finishing this book, and am only writing this review now. While I take a few notes, much of my reviewing is done on pure inertia, and in the last two weeks I’ve forgotten almost every detail of this book.
Rather than chide my memory, I’m going to make a point: Awaken is such a non-event I’m not confident there was anything for me to remember in the first place. Book three of a trilogy, it delivers on the typical era thoroughfare- a long fight at the end, happy ever after endings, obligatory promise of marriage and children- and contains little else. There’s a bit about a Greek god possessing a family line and how his give away is based on polo shirts, but that’s about it.
Continue reading “Awaken is like waking from one of those dreams you instantly forget”
It’s been a while since I read Abandon, the first book in this afterlife para-romance vaguely based on the Hades/Persephone myth. At the time my library didn’t have either of the next two books, and I was happy to move on from the series. While I actually gave Abandon a high rating (3 stars), that was mostly because Meg Cabot is a strong writer of teen contemporary, and I enjoyed her style enough that the troubling aspects of the romance weren’t so bad.
That changes, hard left, in this book. For one, it’s a slog to wade through, with almost nothing happening and a climax so poorly defined… well, I’m not sure it counts as a climax. Cabot had me feeling for the characters last time, and the strong voice of the narrator, but this book is absent of humor or heart. It is a heartless, boring story of false information, lying, unsubstantiated threats, and bewildering magic.
Perhaps the largest threat to the sanctity of my sanity (and this book having any redeeming factors) is the romance. I’ve read through quite a lot of bad romances in my time in the 2010s para-ro bubble, but John takes the cake of creeps. He displays in this book inhumane levels of skeevy, controlling behavior- from shouting to lying to manipulating Pierce into thinking she’s in the wrong. This is textbook one of the most abusive relationships I’ve ever seen being treated like it’s okay.
Continue reading “Underworld: Incredibly abusive romance and absolutely nothing else”
One of the scariest things for me about reading books I enjoy is how little I have to say about them. The Iron Fey did not begin this way, but by book three I feel I’m running out of talking points. This is not a good or a bad thing, there’s simply not a lot to discuss, especially as there’s no real ‘developments’. The plot in these books moves exactly where you expect it to, with no real push or pull suggesting anything else. If I’d made a bullet list of what I expected to happen in this book, I’d have gotten every mark correct.
Still, there’s no denying these are also great books. Yes, predictability can be a curse, but it works for this series. It’s a popcorn book, a blockbuster event which lacks a certain substance but does nothing ‘wrong’. The world of wild fae mythos and original iron fey is fun, the monsters and ideas around them are fun, the action and battles and powers are… fun. This is a book where metal beetles march forward on the battlefield crewed by musketeer fey, where Puck throws balls of fur which turn into full size grizzly bears, and where, again, a fairly regular housecat is invulnerable to danger and every immortal being appears to owe him a minor debt.
These books do not need to be edgy, twisty, dark messes. They work just as they are- cliche romance bordered by great concepts, worlds, and creatures, where the ordinary teen ends up being queen and all the bad guys are vanquished forever.
Continue reading “The Iron Queen goes nowhere new and I’m okay with that”
Call me the Queen of Fools, because I no longer despise Carden. After book one making me wish strangulation on the whole cast, and book two setting me in stone against the fae fool, I am ready to put on garish makeup and admit my wrongs.
Yes, you are hearing me correct: Carden is no longer a completely miserable excuse of garbage in the package of a generic YA love interest, and I liked him in this book, and I liked his relationship with Jude in a romantic sense. This admission weighs heavy on my soul after my many memes and posts on the matter, but rejoice! This change of tides can only mean a miracle is on its way. (And that miracle is that I will no longer be on the warpath to seek and personally destroy Carden Greenbriar).
Continue reading “Queen of Nothing review: I must sadly rescind my blood oath to murder Carden Greenbriar”
Back when I read The Fandom in February, I was genuinely surprised how engaging it was: a dark thriller based on fandom meta and dystopias. I was also intrigued to learn there would be a sequel at all. It feels very much like a one-off story- three friends who are brought into the world of a popular dystopian YA series which has become ‘real’ by the collective belief of the fandom around it, and how they must escape from the cruel reality of this once fictitious world.
At the end of The Fandom, Violet, Alice, and Katie awake from the week long coma they entered while they were transported to the world of The Gallows Dance, though Violet’s brother died in that world, trapping him in a coma. Violet and Alice have collaborated to write a sequel to The Gallows Dance- The Gallows Song- which was published by the publicity of their comic-con coma incident and Alice’s huge online following with her fanfic. Though none of the girls remember what actually happened while they were in their comas, they felt obliged to end the cycle of misery the world of the Gallows Dance was trapped in, writing a sequel full of hope and change- as well as writing Nate in as a new character.
However, trouble is coming to the living world of the Gallows Dance, allowing Violet to regain her memories. She also realizes that as Nate exists as a book character, he lives in the other world- and traveling back there might be her only chance to wake her brother from his year long coma. Especially now that their parents plan to turn off his life support in just a week.
Continue reading “The Fandom Rising completes an excellent duology you’ve been missing out on”
When I accidentally began my paranormal romance binge focused on angel books focused on about 2010 era, I did not know how much pain I would be walking into. There were laughs in Sweet Evil, stupidly bad as that was. There were highs in Fallen, which had a couple good ideas. And then there’s Hush, Hush, a series so mindbogglingly bad it does nothing but frustrate and taunt me. There’s barely even humor to be found in the poor writing and horrendous world-building, plot, and characters. It’s just a slop you have to wade through for over 400 pages.
This book features pointless breakups, never seen new antagonists, more confusing angel lore, the world’s longest series of semi-breakups and reunions over the course of non stop, short lived teen parties, even worse girl-hate, slut shaming, and so much more.
Continue reading “Crescendo built to nothing but my own hatred of this series”